While visiting the in-laws up here in Canada, I have noticed that children are amazingly adaptable beings.

My wife and I have been comparing notes and we have noticed that our oldest child, especially, changes behavior based on which parent she is with.

You may find this hard to believe, but on every outing with my almost-four-year-old daughter, and it’s just me and her, she behaves like a little angel. She does exactly as I say and is as sweet as a parent could hope a child could be.

This is not the case, however, when she goes somewhere with her mother.

When they return, I hear tales about how she went wild and was absolutely out of control in the Wal-Mart or grocery store or library or park.

"Molly?" I’ll ask. "Are you sure you were with our daughter?"

"Oh, yes. I am sure it was her," my wife will answer, scowling with arms crossed.

Even with my one-year-old son, there are noticeable differences in the way he behaves with me compared to the way he acts with his Mom.

When I put him down to go to sleep, he goes to sleep.

When his mother puts him down, he will cry and whine and wiggle and holler.

After giving this some thought, the conclusion that I have reached is that children are amazingly perceptive to the behavioral differences between a mom and a dad, and they adapt their behavior accordingly based on what they know they can expect from whichever parent is currently in command.

In other words…

They know that "Daddy don’t tolerate."

By this I mean that they know that Daddy will not negotiate, bargain, barter, give-in, compromise or sympathize with their moods, wants, whines or bad attitudes.

My son knows that when I put him down to sleep, a whiney whine will not make me turn around and scoop him up for some comfort hugging and cuddling. I’ll just leave him there to whine. He has learned that there’s no point to whining when Dad puts him to bed, so he just rolls over and goes to sleep.

My daughter has learned the hard way, that when Dad issues a warning, he means it.

"Molly, this is a library. If you get too noisy or misbehave, I will pick you up in my arms, carry you to the car and drive you home."

When she hears this, she knows that I mean it.

Experience has taught her this.

When she’s with her Mom, however, she knows there is room for negotiation. She has had success bargaining with Mom in the past, so when she sees something she wants at the store, she has come to understand that when Mom says, "no," it really means, "Well, maybe, if you irritate me enough to the point where I break down and give in."

I suppose we have different parenting styles and I don’t think one is necessarily better than the other. Moms, generally, are more compassionate, more comforting and that’s what makes mothers special.

Dads, generally, take a more "hard line" approach.

When it comes to discipline, I have made it a big priority to be as consistent as possible with the kids. It’s been very important for me to follow through with whatever consequences I threaten when the child crosses the line. I have seen parents that make empty threats before, and I have also seen the confusion and frustration that inevitably leads to chaos.

"Not me," I always thought. "I’m going to do things differently."

It hasn’t always been easy, though. The oldest child, especially, has had to climb a pretty steep learning curve before we reached the kind of understanding with one another that has brought harmony to our outings. These past three years have been pretty tough, but I think we have a wonderful relationship now, and we get along beautifully when we go out and do things together.

I have to admit, it is nice to see the rewards of my parenting efforts.

So when my wife returns from the store or wherever, frazzled, frustrated, exhausted, and irritated –

"Oh? Did you have some trouble?" I’ll ask, as a wicked little smile crosses my face.