Robocalls

Have you received any Robocalls recently?

I sure have.

Lots.

"What’s a Robocall?" some of you may be asking.

A Robocall is an automated telemarketing phone call which uses both a computerized autodialer and a computer-delivered recorded message. The idea is that a "Robocall" is kind of like a call from a "robot."

I swear, if I get one more Robocall from Michelle Obama, I am going to rip the phone out of the wall and throw it right out in the middle of County Road 230.

I’m sorry, that woman just gets on my nerves.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard about something she said about her husband in an interview with the media.

She told a reporter about how bad her husband’s body odor was.

She said he stank so bad that his own daughters won’t crawl into bed with him.

What?

"What…kind of thing… is that to say about your husband who’s running for president?" is the question that popped into my head. "What makes you think the American people want a stinky president?"

After that, I guess they were trying to find something else for her to do and so I guess they put her in charge of Robocalling.

The thing is – her husband is supposed to be one of the greatest speakers of all time. I’m wondering… why not let him record the Robocall messages?

Anyway, I’m tired of hearing from RoboMichelle. I guess the reason RoboMichelle has called our house 100 times is that we never let her finish saying her RoboRemarks. I have to admit that we have been hanging up on her in mid Robo-sentence.

RoboMichelle must think we are being "accidentally" disconnected, so she keeps calling back. She must think we really want to hear her "whole" message.

It’s gotten so bad lately that when the phone rings I’ll just yell, "Don’t answer it – it’s probably just RoboMichelle."

We don’t get many calls from real live people anymore – it’s almost all Robocalls now.

That’s too bad, because you can have a lot more fun with real people.

My wife and daughter were retelling parts of a phone conversation my Dad had recently with someone who called on the phone campaigning for some politician.

"Your candidate is running for president?" my Dad asked. "Congratulations! That’s wonderful!"

"President of which company?" he asked.

"President of the United States," the poor person on the other end of the call explained.

"United States?" my Dad asked. "The United States has a president? Really! I had no idea. What kinds of things does this so-called "president" do?"

I’ve seen him do this before and it’s pretty funny.

He’ll ask all sorts of question that the person on the other end – usually a college student – would have absolutely no idea how to answer.

Our home is on the "do-not-call" list, but it sure hasn’t stopped RoboMichelle or any of the other calls we have received leading up to this election.

I guess when they passed the law designed to give homeowners a little peace and quiet and privacy at home, they managed to put in an exemption for themselves, so that they could telemarket themselves during the dinner hour at homes within their constituency.

It seems to me that our founding fathers all wanted to give us the right to pursue happiness. My pursuit of happiness includes an evening at home that is not interrupted with numerous telemarketing calls, which is why we signed up for the "do not call" list.

One or two calls are perfectly acceptable, but when it turns into dozens of calls – then that’s just getting ridiculous.

Now if a politician calls and says he’s sponsoring a bill that eliminates the political candidates’ exemption to the do-not-call law…

Well, that’s one call I’ll be glad to take!

"Yes! You can count on my support!"