By Pamela Baker

Our pastor gave an excellent sermon this past Sunday about being honest and truthful. My husband and I talked about it after the children went to sleep that evening.

The basic premise of the sermon was that the New Testament says that we should be truthful all the time.

I find it awfully hard to be truthful all the time. When a handsome celebrity is in a movie we are watching, and I comment on the handsomeness of said celebrity, my husband always asks me if the celebrity is more handsome than him.

Every time I say, "Of course not. There is not a man alive more handsome than you, dearest." It’s possible that this statement is false. But I will continue to say it nonetheless, even if it is a sin.

There are other times when I tell white lies. I admit it. I don’t like confrontation and I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, and it’s sometimes so hard to tell the truth in some situations. I’m weak.

The part of the sermon that struck home with me the most was when our pastor talked about people who change their opinion about certain issues depending on how the people they were talking with at the time. In politics, it’s called pandering. You say what you think the people want to hear.

It’s hard to take a stand.

I don’t feel like I change my opinion based on the people I am talking with – but I find it really hard to make up my mind on many issues. I’m often indecisive.

Ask my husband – I have a terrible time picking out what I want to eat in a restaurant, and once it comes I always wish I had what the person next to me got. I have trouble deciding what movie to go and see on a date, and I am constantly changing my mind about where to put things in the house.

I can be influenced by a good argument. I over think things. I change my mind often.

There are some things that I feel very strongly about. I think torturing kittens for entertainment is bad. Very bad. But I might be less inclined to condemn using animals in extremely important medical research that will save thousands of lives. I wouldn’t want any kittens to die to make sure that my mascara was safe to use though.

I am an idealist at heart. I think no one should be poor or hungry and everyone should get along and we can hold hands and sing songs all day long. My husband likes to remind me that we don’t live in a world with gumdrop rain and gingerbread trees though. We live in a world where sometimes we have to make tough decisions.

So, for someone like me, who finds it hard to make up her mind about which color sweater to purchase – it’s even harder to make the more important decisions. I settle comfortably in the middle sometimes and don’t really take a stand on certain issues – because I really don’t know how I truly feel about some things.

I know that ambivalence is not a character trait most people consider to be positive – a person who can’t make up their mind may be called wishy-washy. But, I don’t know all the answers. I am listening and learning and forming and reforming my opinion on many things. I like to think that I have a pluralistic mind – I believe that sometimes there may be more than one answer. And I am sure that some of the answers that we now think are right are really wrong.

There was a time when people were really sure that the world was flat, after all.

Pam Baker Column Archives    Click here to read previously published columns