On Tuesday evening I hauled my small children into my messy house. It was after nine o’clock. I just came in from an ecumenical Thanksgiving service where I sang in the choir. I picked up my son and daughter from my mother-in-law’s house and was getting ready to put them to bed.

The phone rang – I heard the caller ID say something I couldn’t understand, so I didn’t stop what I was doing to answer it. Then I heard a quiet, upset voice over the answering machine speaker.

"This is Amy," she said. I had never spoken on the phone with Amy before, but I had written to her many times via e-mail and online forums. She, along with several others – young women like myself, had been talking in this way for a few years. Sharing our lives, our struggles. Some of us had met up in "real-life," some of us shared cards and gifts and notes. We know things about one another that nobody else knows. These women have helped me immensely over the past few years, and I can only hope that I have helped them in some way as well.

I checked the caller log and saw that she had called five times that day. I knew something bad had happened.

When I went to call the number back, the phone rang again. I picked it up.

Immediately I could tell that it was worse than I thought.

"It’s Becky," she said. "She passed away in her sleep on Saturday night."

This was, of course, incredibly unbelievable to me. Becky just turned 38. People just don’t die in their sleep, right? I mean, perhaps when we’re 96 years old, but Becky was a few years younger than my husband. It just doesn’t happen. Becky was one of the young women who shared so much in our little "online support group" over the last several years.

A couple of years ago my husband and I were able to meet Becky and her husband. They drove down from their home in Colorado and we drove up to New Mexico. We spent a day together in Santa Fe, New Mexico, talking and enjoying the sights and sounds.

She was always quick to support and slow to complain – bubbling up with joy and excitement for life. She was preparing to go to Disney World with her family this week. She was sentimental and gentle and kind and generous.

But now she is gone, leaving behind a loving and devoted husband and an 18-month old son, who I know she loved more than anything in the world.

I don’t understand why these things happen. I don’t understand why children are left motherless or fatherless. I don’t understand why mothers and fathers lose their sons and daughters. Because of my faith I trust that there is a reason that God calls these people home early, but I certainly don’t know what that reason is and I can’t explain any of it.

It certainly brings things into perspective for me. Whining over laundry, getting upset with my husband or children over silly things – it’s all so unimportant. Even when we had to rush our four-year-old to the emergency room with a broken and bleeding thumb over the holiday weekend – I knew in the back of my head that we are just so lucky that she is going to be okay.

I am thankful despite the tragedy. Sometimes it’s hard, but I know that Becky’s husband is a fantastic father and he will do a wonderful job raising their little boy. Becky was a wonderful friend, wife and mother. I will miss her so much, but I believe she is with God now, and I’m so thankful for that.

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