By: W.C. Reader

It was one of those evenings, which tend to confound husbands and wives occasionally. There were no meetings to attend, there was nothing good to listen to on TV, and there was nothing else to do but for Mama Doris and us to talk to each other. Gloom was about a foot deep in the family room and silence was deafening with the exception of a few squeaks coming from the rocking chair every now and then.

Finally the spell was broken when we turned to Mama and asked, “What’s bugging you these days”?

She answered, “It’s these young kids who are allowed to run wild up and down the aisles in the grocery store. Their unrestricted behavior can really be hazardous at times and if they aren’t better controlled, some of us old folks are going to be hurt badly one of these days.”

“Be more specific”, we replied. “Give us some examples of what you are talking about. What hazards are you referring to?”

“It would be take too long if we were to try to name all of them,” she said. “But just to name a few of them, they run, run, run most of the time, the block the aisles, they take stock off of the shelves and leave it lying on the floor, they smear candy on the magazines, they bite into the fruit and put it back in the bins, they break toys and leave them on the shelves and so on. Many are the times they come dashing down the aisles with a shopping cart and tempt me to climb those shelves, like rodeo performers climb a fence when a mad bull gets after them.”

“You mentioned ‘run, run, run’ all the time. You mean like those little kids who are brought to football games, and then are turned aloose to run up and down the grandstand all during the game, making life miserable for those trying to watch the game?” we asked. “Exactly” she replied. “The end result is the same!”

“We understand, Mama,” we answered back. “We never did know how those little folks could make so much noise in the grandstands until we noticed how they run. They bring the heel of each foot down first on the boards, instead of the toes. This eliminates the cushioning effect of the front of the foot and allows the full weight of each child to rattle the boards – and your teeth as well! But why are you telling us about this?”

“Well, why don’t you write an article about all this”, she answered. “You work for the newspaper don’t you?”

“Sure do”, was our retort, “and we plan to continue it for awhile as long as our health permits. And that might not be possible if we start trying to tell these women how to raise their children”.

Our parting remark was, “Mama, the two of us are out of date now that we have retired. Younger folks have taken our place, they are operating the world, and they don’t want us to tell them how to do it! We are just going to have to adjust our way of living if you want to fit in. But don’t worry about it; Right now we and the other old folks don’t count much in the eyes of the younger generations. But when they grow up and start having children, they will suddenly discover how smart we older folks were!”

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